A personal blog...

...chronicling the dementia adventures of...

...Girl and

The Other Girl...

...sharing hilarious and 

heartbreaking moments

of life...


...with our mom who has vascular dementia.


My Ugliest Truth

Want to know my ugliest truth about being a family caregiver to dementia? When struck full-force with the worst of the disease I am capable of pure malevolence. And it doesn't matter how much respite I've accessed. And it doesn't matter how much self-care I've practiced. And it doesn't matter that the minute, the hour, the day before I was filled with calm, patience, devotion. Dementia will always provide a trigger that will reveal myself to myself as despicable, hateful, cold. Loathsome when I thought I was loving, cruel when I thought I was compassionate. I screamed lightning bolts at my mother this morning. Uncontrollable in my rage. I stormed her with the force of a hurricane into the sh

Twisted Sisters: Dementia Tour 2019

She may not be big in Japan, but Mom plays to packed houses throughout the Pacific Northwest! It all started with last Thursday's weather report: "Forecast calls for statewide sunshine and temperatures in the 60s tomorrow." "Mom, it's time to go see Ginny." My Aunt Gin lives on the other side of the Cascade Range. At some point every fall the snow starts accumulating on the mountain pass and if we don't skeedaddle over there before the winter wonderland hits, we have to wait 'til spring to see her again. (Mostly because I'm a terrible driver. Even in the best road conditions I'm a motorized menace - add snow and ice and all bets for safe travels are off.) So, a quick phone call to Gin to fre

Have to...

Have to... wake up before Mom and get her on the toilet. Damn. Didn't make it. Have to... clean up streaks of pee on the toilet cover, toilet seat, toilet base, pooled on the bathroom floor - because I failed to wake up before Mom and get her on the toilet. Have to... get Mom's pajamas and pull-ups off, to soothe as she fights to retain pee-soaked garments, remain calm while she curses as I wipe her legs and the bottom of her feet to remove any dried pee. Have to... get her dressed; new pull-ups, warm pants, a sweater, socks, and shoes. Have to... be sunny as her brow darkens with hatred, her limbs lashing out to avoid putting on pull-ups, warm pants, a sweater, socks, and shoes. Have to...

Stumped Town Dementia

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Here & Now


May 2020

Open Caregiving

August 2020

When They Forget


September 2020

Alzheimer's Society UK

March 2018


July 2019

Ro & Steve

June 2019

Being Patient

December 2018

Family Caregiver Alliance

September 2018

Alzheimer's Society UK

August 2018

The Caregiver Space

September 2018

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