Updated: Dec 9, 2020
"I can no other answer make but thanks,
And thanks; and ever thanks..."
~ William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
I'm feeling warm, maudlin, sappy today. Perhaps it's the coziness of fall. Perhaps it's because it's my day off from Mom - the lack of stress bringing out my sentimental side. Perhaps it's because we're on a dementia upswing.
Eh... it's probably just the cold medicine. (Gawd luv 'ya, Nyquil!)
Whatever it is, I've been counting my blessings as of late, looking at the world through rose colored glasses (and a 10% alcohol-induced, cough syrup haze), and these are the things I am most thankful for...
I'm thankful for the fall; the colors that greet me in a fiery blaze as I move through my day in this astonishingly beautiful world.
I am thankful for this blog, for the opportunity to remain creative, to disappear into myself while composing a parade of words that swagger and strut across my consciousness, helping me understand and cope with dementia life. And I'm so very grateful that others read it.
I'm thankful for my critters. Bebe who steps nimbly on my kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkey board then curls up in my lap. Sarcasmo who's fur smells like home, and purr radiates love. Barnaby Bones who's excitement at seeing me makes me laugh with joy, and who comforts and calms Mom in times of stress.
I'm thankful for Mom's friends who have not shied away from dementia, but have instead found new ways to love their new old friend, and keep her in their lives.
I'm thankful for Grandma Sandy who is a tornado of talk, and an earthquake of eagerness for whatever new experience I've concocted (except Hawaiian food). She lightens my spirit every time she's with me and Mom.
I'm thankful for our family, those we get to see frequently, and those we don't but who still send us encouragement and love even if the demands of busy lives keeps us apart.
I'm thankful for Mom's Ridiculously Tall Grandsons who love their grandma, and are beyond supportive of The Other Girl and I.
I'm thankful for the boyfriend in the basement who can turn Mom's frown upside down with a smile and a hug, even though he should really mow the lawn and take out the garbage a lot more often.
I'm beyond thankful for my sister, The Other Girl, who was the bane of my existence in childhood, but the boon of my maturity. Without her, without us as a team, I could not be the daughter I am to my mother in her time of greatest need. And if that weren't so, I would have to exit my life shackled to a regret of monstrous proportions.
And lastly, I am thankful for my mother. I am thankful for this time I have with her, dementia and all. It shall be over soon. Maybe too soon, maybe not soon enough, but that finality, no matter the dementia trials and tribulations it takes to get there, will break my heart.
So, today I am THANKFUL.
Tomorrow? Eh... I'll prolly go back to bitching.