• Lickety Glitz

Nothing


Who will I be when you're gone, Mom?


I am not who I was before this journey

I will not be who I am now

I will not be a daughter

I will not be a caregiver

I will be bereft of purpose.

Useless before, I will be useless again

I will be

Nothing


I crave freedom from the Grim Reaper's daily company

I build castles in the sky of all the things I will do when death, your death, has freed me From these chains that shackle me to you

And yet as the journey is coming to a close I grip the chains in terror

Seek to bind them tighter

Fear the abyss of myself, without you, filled with

Nothing


When this home becomes just a house

Stripped naked of your spirit.

Desolate of your warmth, rage, laughter, fear

Before dementia and after

My heart will break from the same abandonment

The emptiness of you

The vast darkness

My own

Nothing



#march2021

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