Respite

CUT THE CRAP!

of options (they were weirdly hard to find for me), check with your city, county, or state Aging and Disability

resource department. They can help connect you

to respite centers in your area (as well as a plethora of

other services you may find helpful). Community centers may also be a good resource for locating respite.

Visit - Ask any respite centers you are considering to host you and your dementia care partner for lunch. While there check out the facilities, talk to the participants, observe the level of interaction staff has with participants - are they enjoying themselves? Is your care partner enjoying themselves? Are they engaging with the other participants? Facilitate interactions if possible to see how your care partner does.

Try one out - If after visiting a potential respite center your care partner flat out refuses, then hold off for a month or two - their progression may eventually make it much easier for them to try. If they are willing to give it a shot, don't be discouraged if there is still some resistance. Mom often does not like to be taken to her respite center, but usually has a big smile when we pick her up. Persevere for a time, if a month goes by and it's getting harder for them to attend then easier... you might try another respite option.

Work with staff - Many respite staff/volunteers are personally connected to a dementia loved one, often someone they have already lost. They know the difficulties you and your care partner are having adjusting to respite - so consult them and ask for help regarding any specific problems your care partner may be having. (Posts: You deserve a break today..., What's the plan, Stan?, Happy days are here again!)

Volunteers of America - Local chapters of VOA's offer a variety of services, and many geared towards supporting older adults. Check to see if there's a local VOA in your area, and if they've got a program or two that you and your care partner can benefit from! (Post: Sundance: Dancing the Sundowners away!)

Thelma's Place (Canby, OR) - An intergenerational day center combining child care with senior care. Open 10am - 4pm, Monday through Friday, $15 an hour or $85 for a full day, Thelma's is small and homey, with 8 - 10 participants a day. There is also a Thelma's Place in Redmond, OR. What's better than an angel? The staff and volunteers at Thelma's.

Gentog (Tigard, OR) - Another intergenerational day center, large and lively with about 15 - 30 participants at a time, and $20 per hour. A great resource for those care givers who also work full-time elsewhere as Gentog is open Monday - Friday, 6:30am - 6:30 pm, and has Saturday hours too. (Post: You deserve a break today...)

A Place at the Center (Milwaukie, OR) - Offered every Wednesday afternoon a the Milwaukie Community Center, a small group of participants and volunteers who sing, enjoy pet-therapy, watch programs, and hae discussions. APAC is $30 per week, making it the most affordable option we've found so far. (Post: You deserve a break today...)

Sundance (Portland, OR) - Sundowner respite! Brilliant! Held on Tuesday and Thursdays from 3:00pm to 8:00 pm at a cost of $100 per session for private pay - but can also be paid through VA benefits, Medicaid (not Medicare), and Oregon Project Independence. (Post: Sundance: Dancing the Sundowners away!)

Marie Smith Center (North Portland, OR) and Lambert House (SE Portland, OR) - Both offer engaging, therapeutic Adult Day Centers for those with dementia and a host of other special needs. Check out their webpages for specifics on hours, fees, and scholarship opportunities. (Post: Sundance: Dancing the Sundowners away!)