A personal blog...

...chronicling the dementia adventures of...

...Girl and

The Other Girl...

...sharing hilarious and 

heartbreaking moments

of life...

 

...with our mom who has vascular dementia.

 

Dementia Perspective: Death

What did we think the death of our loved ones was gonna be like? Throughout Mom's dementia journey, I've wrassled my thoughts and feelings into dementia perspectives that often differ with the majority. I've finally decided to write 'em out so I can understand my own mind better, and find others who are also thinking dementia-different. About a year after Mom's diagnosis, Dad and I found ourselves with a private moment at a family reunion. Sitting in the motor home, Dad expressed his fury that Mom, and us, had to face a death by dementia. I responded swiftly and decisively: "Dad, there is nothing about you and Mom leaving this planet that is going to make me happy. NOTHING. Dementia or no de

Dementia Perspective: Pity

The all too common perception that life with dementia is not worth living. Throughout Mom's dementia journey, I've wrassled my thoughts and feelings into dementia perspectives that often differ with the majority. I've finally decided to write 'em out so I can understand my own mind better, and find others who are also thinking dementia-different. It's not unusual for strangers, who have observed Mom and I out and about, to pull me aside and whisper something along the lines of how sorry they are for us, how difficult, how challenging life must be. As they shake their heads at our plight they seem to expect some sign from me that our lives are complete devastation. This will happen with casua

Dementia Perspective: Secrecy

We dance round in a ring and suppose But the Secret sits in the middle and knows. ~ Robert Frost, "The Secret Sits" Throughout Mom's dementia journey, I've wrassled my thoughts and feelings into dementia perspectives that often differ with the majority. I've finally decided to write 'em out so I can understand my own mind better, and find others who are also thinking dementia-different. The secrecy began even before diagnosis; everybody noticed something was a little off with Mom but nobody talked to her about it, just to each other, and to me. I understand why - when I brought up my concerns with Mom or Dad they blanched like I'd just announced I had taken up cannibalism and would they mind

Heartbreak

As I was tucking Mom in tonight, she was a little worrisome. As her eyes drooped with sleep I softly said to her what I've said to her a thousand times before, "You are safe." Her eyes opened fully, "Are you sure?" she whispered. I smiled into those wide eyes that were searching my face for comfort. "Mom," I whispered back, "I shall slay all your dragons." She beamed at me as her eyes dropped to sleep. The tears started slowly. I brushed them back as I tidied the living room, picked up the dirty glasses, turned on the stove light should she get up and need to see her way around her home. When I reached the basement, I crumpled into my boyfriend and shook with weeping. I can not slay all the

Stumped Town Dementia

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When They Forget

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Alzheimer's Society UK

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July 2019

Ro & Steve

June 2019

Being Patient

December 2018

Family Caregiver Alliance

September 2018

Alzheimer's Society UK

August 2018

The Caregiver Space

September 2018

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