A personal blog...

...chronicling the dementia adventures of...

...Girl and

The Other Girl...

...sharing hilarious and 

heartbreaking moments

of life...


...with our mom who has vascular dementia.


Dementia Dilemma: Dead People

Death is everyone's greatest dilemma. We spend our money, time, and energy trying to cheat it. This diet, this exercise, this abstinence, this cure, this belief system - these are all strategies for staving off what is the ultimate unknown for us. Now, pretend 95% of your existence is already a big fat unknown to you, then throw a pinch of a loved one's death into the mix... Having fun yet? A few mornings ago, as I focused on the difficult task of getting Mom to brush her teeth she asked me "Where is he?" As this is not an uncommon question during the days when it's just she and I in the house, I absentmindedly reeled off the list of usual suspects who often comprise the "he" that Mom is mis

Leave myself alone.

The Other Girl has headed out for the week. The Boyfriend in the Basement is at work. Mom is at respite care, I'll pick her up in a few hours. I'm alone in a quiet house, laundry is all caught up, kitchen is clean, everything else is tidy. It's grey and cold outside, rain splatters the windows in a hypnotic melody. I'm warm, fuzzy with a head cold, gazing at the cats curled up and content in their dreams, Barnaby Bones snug in his bed. I am so comfortable in my skin at this very moment I don't want it to ever end. I want to stay like this - a girl who doesn't have poop stains to scrub out of the carpet, pee to mop off the bathroom floor, who doesn't need to shop for the most effective incont


"I can no other answer make but thanks, And thanks; and ever thanks..." ~ William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night I'm feeling warm, maudlin, sappy today. Perhaps it's the coziness of fall. Perhaps it's because it's my day off from Mom - the lack of stress bringing out my sentimental side. Perhaps it's because we're on a dementia upswing. Eh... it's probably just the cold medicine. (Gawd luv 'ya, Nyquil!) Whatever it is, I've been counting my blessings as of late, looking at the world through rose colored glasses (and a 10% alcohol-induced, cough syrup haze), and these are the things I am most thankful for... I'm thankful for the fall; the colors that greet me in a fiery blaze as I move through my

Happy days are here again!

"I see your happy face disguise, Mother, and raise you a poop mask!" Little Miss Funshine has been in a pretty good mood as of late. Now, don't be jealous of our good fortune, we're still laden with anxiety and a bundle of boo-hoos for about 40% of our days, but to be the beneficiaries of a mostly content Mom as we navigate around, over, and/or through dementia's pitfalls and perils is a super duper place to be. I've been taking advantage of this recent bout of serenity to raise a ruckus near and far. We hopped on over to Central Oregon last week (by "hopped" I mean drove like a bat out of hell), to visit Mom's sister, my Aunt Ginny. Our last visit a couple of months ago ended in an anxious

Back to... normal?

Mom came home five weeks ago. The Other Girl and I just wrapped on four weeks of vacations - Portugal was astounding for my sister, and I had a great time in Mexico, especially the snorkeling! (I know, you thought I was gonna say the tequila didn't you? It's a close second.) That makes this week our first foray into the new "normal" since bringing Mom back home from memory care. We've already moved forward with Monday through Friday respite care, The Other Girl will now take an extra weekday of 24/7 Mom off my plate, and I've become the heavy lifter on the weekends - days that The Other Girl finds the most challenging. "So, how's it going?" you didn't ask? Well, I'll tell 'ya... I got home

Terms of Indifference

I smile because she's my mother. I laugh because there's nothing she can do about it. I'm not above badgering my dementia mother to get a drop of approbation out of her. And she's not above withholding affection to keep me from "getting too big for my britches." Ah, Dementia, you can't take this age-old mother/daughter conflict from us just yet. We're still having fun waging our filial battles. #dementiahumor #november2018

Stumped Town Dementia

featured on...

Here & Now


May 2020

Open Caregiving

August 2020

When They Forget


September 2020

Alzheimer's Society UK

March 2018


July 2019

Ro & Steve

June 2019

Being Patient

December 2018

Family Caregiver Alliance

September 2018

Alzheimer's Society UK

August 2018

The Caregiver Space

September 2018

© 2017-2020 All Rights Reserved, Stumped Town Dementia, Portland, Oregon

Created with Wix.com