A personal blog...

...chronicling the dementia adventures of...

...Girl and

The Other Girl...

...sharing hilarious and 

heartbreaking moments

of life...


...with our mom who has vascular dementia.


"Where yar'd you?"

Still here, Mom. Still here. While dementia's progression has brought on new physical challenges in the form of keeping Mom upright, it's also granted a mellower frame of mind for her that's been steadily growing since the beginning of the year. Now, I don't for a minute trust Dementia to proffer such generosity without a king's-ransom of a price to be paid (and we all know what that price will be), but for the time being we are grateful our pretty, pretty princess is getting a bit of relief from the demented dragon devouring her brain. Since January, the rage stage has been slowly dissipating, still making the occasional appearance during showering or toileting, but the random lashing outs

Mom's a stand-up kinda gal.

Well... mostly? We've been scrambling to adapt to dementia's progression as of late. Not only has Mom's appetite taken a nose dive, but she's essentially lost the ability to feed herself. Utensils are confounding bits of futility and even eating with her hands is fading into a befuddled disinterest. Dementia has also discarded her ability to sit at the dining table for more than a minute or two, hence we're all getting a lot more exercise at meal times than we'd prefer. Not that my waistline couldn't use a little more activity in my day, but it would be nice to sit and enjoy a repast from start to finish without running Mom down throughout the house in an effort to get her to take one more b

Well for heaven's sake, I am delightful!

Who'd a thunk it. Stumped Town Dementia is the featured guest on this month's episode of Daughterhood, The Podcast, and I must say I come off surprisingly delightful! I know this because I just listened to the whole thing before deciding if I would let you all in on it as I have a life-long bad habit of unintentionally being as not delightful as possible at damn near every turn. I believe the credit goes to host Rosanne Corcoran who managed to skillfully keep me on topic (although, I did run rampant with the dementia monkey idea before she could reign me back in). She was a pleasure to talk with and I'm honored to share our Stumped Town Dementia journey with her audience. Listen to it here,

Dementia How-To: Shower Scene

What does a KKK member in a pink unicorn robe, an old-timey stripper, and a naked Barbie have in common? They're all pleased as punch to offer their assistance with dementia showering! Alright, dementia caregivers, we've gotten rather skilled (and had a lot of luck) at getting our dementia mom through a shower with hardly any screaming, punching, or kicking - from either her or us! We've come a long way, baby, from those rocky road days of How to Bathe a Beast. And I'll can say to that is "Phew!" Trauma on that scale never did us one bit of good! So, I thought I'd throw together this video to let you know what's working over yonder in Stumped Town Dementia. And if you've got some sweet, swee

Here's a rock. Now, beat your head against it.

I was slow to come to this particular epiphany. It's understandable. As dementia caregivers we are continually adapting to the journey; the early years often burdened with the steepest learning curves. And while the longer I tread this path the more adept I've become, there are still times in this sojourn where the logical world I inhabit impedes me from quickly adjusting to the irrationality of dementia. I've seen lots of posts on social media that leads me to believe my experience is not a one-off; beating our heads against a rock with "logical" solutions to dementia's illogical equations is a stumbling block for most of us as we link arms with our dementia loved on this maddening adventur

Stumped Town Dementia

featured on...

Here & Now


May 2020

Open Caregiving

August 2020

When They Forget


September 2020

Alzheimer's Society UK

March 2018


July 2019

Ro & Steve

June 2019

Being Patient

December 2018

Family Caregiver Alliance

September 2018

Alzheimer's Society UK

August 2018

The Caregiver Space

September 2018

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