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  • Writer's pictureLickety Glitz

Dementia Dichotomy



I have come to the conclusion that all emotions are valid in dementia. From caregiver frustration, to dementia rage, or the too often experience of despair and the not often enough blessed relief of laughter.


All have been a part of our journey. Sometimes expressed at wildly inappropriate times, which makes them all the more appropriate.


Dementia doesn't put up with the personal disinformation we regularly feed ourselves to get by; it forces you to feel what you feel when you feel it.

For me, I often simultaneously experience emotions that are polar opposites of each other. Hence the two posts today: Nothing and its unlikely companion Huh. Well, how 'bout that? One is filled with terror, the other a strange calm. Both have taken turns sharing the spotlight in the last 24 hours.


I'm stuck in a Dementia Dichotomy: an utterly bewildering place to be, but valid nonetheless.


918 views8 comments

8 opmerkingen


pets
06 mrt. 2021

I just went through this with my beautiful mom. She passed away very peacefully in my arms as I sang to her on Feb 25th last week. Reading your blog I can relate so much. My mom was in a memory care facility who took excellent care of her in Colorado. I live in Dallas. 14 long trips to Colorado over 3 years to be with her since her diagnosis three years ago. She had Altzheimers. My brother lived near her to help. Once Covid hit all things changed. She got covid and recovered but her disease progressed super fast after that. Many zoom visits, patio visits and finally last week they allowed compassion visits so I could sit …


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Lickety Glitz
Lickety Glitz
08 mrt. 2021
Reageren op

Pets, thank you for trusting us enough to tell us your beautiful story. I hope memories that induce laughter and love are a part of your family's healing. You and your mother are gorgeous.

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Lickety Glitz
Lickety Glitz
06 mrt. 2021

I will take your thoughts and prayers and if you could send one up to tell Mom to head home that would be awesome. She just seems stuck here.

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Dancer Galadriel
Dancer Galadriel
05 mrt. 2021

I discovered that dementia is a cruel thief. Not just of your loved one, but also of the grief of losing them. I'd been missing and slowly, silently grieving my mom long before her body stopped functioning. Dementia messes with the grieving process. It feels wrong to be happy it's over and relieved of the 'burden' of her care, but I also know she wouldn't have wanted to be a burden either if she knew what was happening to her. It feels wrong that I didn't cry the day she died and I've been robbed of that grief. I am thankful that I got to be her caregiver the last 2 years of her life. It's been a RAR…

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Lickety Glitz
Lickety Glitz
06 mrt. 2021
Reageren op

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Dancer. And for letting me know I'm not alone when my emotions vary from what they supposedly should be. I am sending you peace to help soothe the raw.

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d9394093908
05 mrt. 2021

I suppose no-one ever said that emotions came one at a time in a socially-distanced line but it does feel illogical when you are shoved one way and then another. "Hey now! I'm already busy feeling THIS, knock it off!" But after all, you are simultaneously navigating two transitions, hers and yours. I know you already know this, but I'm going to say it anyway. There is no wrong way to get through the dying process. So go walk your dogs, do the laundry, pop upstairs to check in. She knows you love her.

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Lickety Glitz
Lickety Glitz
06 mrt. 2021
Reageren op

Thanks, d, for getting it, for getting all of it.

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Dem Who
Dem Who
05 mrt. 2021

Praying and thinking of you ❤️

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